Birthday Surprises

Wednesday, Nov. 25, 2020

This cannot be happening. I am suddenly 76 years old. How did this happen so quickly? It seems like yesterday that I was having my sixth birthday at our little house on Caroline Avenue, in Silver Spring, Maryland. But it was 1950. The absolutely best birthday I have ever had until this year was when my college girlfriend, a fabulously wonderful Barnard co-ed named Mary, and my frat brothers from The Alpha Delta Phi, especially Larry Lissitzyn and his gf, Susan, gave me a surprise party at our fabulous apartment at 380 Riverside Drive. Mary was wearing a gauzy blouse with no bra and she looked great.

Tonight’s birthday was even better. My wife, a goddess offered to lend K, one of my highest level girls in the world, a woman of stupendous beauty and intelligence (800 on the math SATs, studying microbiology), her fabulous light-colored mink jacket. Then the two of them sat opposite each other at dinner at my club. They got along well indeed and took dozens of photos of themselves in their minks. When I drove K home, I hugged her and told her I thanked God for America and for her.

She hugged me back enthusiastically and said into my left ear, “I thank God for giving you life 76 years ago.”

It’s three hours later and I am still crying with joy. Outside, the wind is blowing through the palm trees and making a loud rustling sound. The full half-moon is illuminating the blue-green waves in my pool as if the water itself were luminescent.

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Author: Ben Stein