Sun, 11/08/2020 – 15:20
“If they’re coming after FiveThirtyEight, then the answer is f— you, we did a good job!” said Nate Silver, legendary statistician, bloodshot eyes, looking like some scruffy guy stuck on the wrong end of a Guantanamo waterboard. The guy spent the past few weeks being interrogated by CIO after CIO on private calls, answering the only question that mattered: So Nate, how and why might you be wrong?
“If we are classifying Tuesday as a success from a congressional standpoint, we will get f—ing torn apart in 2022,” said Abagail Spanberger, congresswoman from Virginia, Tourette’s syndrome burning throughout the Democratic party faster than a Rose Garden super-spreader event.
“We need to not ever use the words ‘socialist’ or ‘socialism’ ever again. Because while people think it doesn’t matter, it does matter,” added Spanberger. “The number one concern that people brought to me in my race that I barely re-won was defunding the police,” she said, echoing the sentiments of so many. You see, the electorate had spoken in rather surprising ways, and we will be trying to interpret exactly what it said for years to come.
“So the whole ‘progressivism is bad’ argument just doesn’t have any compelling evidence that I’ve seen. When it comes to ‘Defund’ & ‘Socialism’ attacks, people need to realize these are racial resentment attacks. You’re not gonna make that go away,” said AOC, defending the progressive left, while reminding her party that were it not for their votes in Milwaukee, Detroit and Philadelphia, Trump would be a two-term president.
And AOC’s not wrong. In fact, no one is. Or rather, no one need admit they were wrong.
This surprising election outcome allows everyone to convince themselves that they were right. And that the other is wrong. So the American people have spoken, and we will all hear in their voice whatever it is that we want.
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Author: Tyler Durden